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Conversation

 

The other day, I left a comment on Susan Willett Bird's blog, Bird's Eye View, which is an exceptional blog for its content. I first noticed the blog through Tom Peters' blogroll. Susan's company, Wf360, helps companies converse better, both within and without.

The comment was in response to a great definition of conversation that she gave, which was that

the great conversations are those that we start with a willingness to emerge a slightly different person. Conversations are true exchanges in which both parties are, in at least some small way, transformed.
That's beautiful, and worthy of a lot of thought. In fact, Susan had two more posts about conversation, here and here. Throughout the thread of posts in her blog, emails with me and others, and her own thinking, Susan showed that she emerged a changed person on the other side. In the blogosphere, she's a rare bird... (pun intended).

I mentioned it to my friend, Mike Sansone, who then continued the discussion.

By listening with intent on finding discovery, lend a selfless ear. Sometimes the speaker grows more than the listener.

Sometimes, we don't know what we know - until we articulate it.

Which is the importance of writing. It hones and clarifies our thinking. We're more succinct.

Conversation can take place everywhere - not just in person, but in blogs, comments, text messages, and email - if we only listen to what the other person will share with us. It goes beyond just the superficial. We sometimes use email and text messages to communicate, but not necessarily to converse.

"Don't forget to pick up the kids tonight at 5:30."
"My day's been crazy. How about u?"
"I'll bring the project documents to the meeting. Do you folks have a copier nearby?"

Not much depth there. In fact, the more busyness in our business, the less likely we are to have conversation that changes us. We're process at that point, and not outcome.

And yet the goal of all business is a win-win situation. The only way that we get there is by listening, which comes by asking questions.

And all of this dovetails with something I read about the silliness of conventional surveys, which ask the wrong questions by querying for demographics.

Does it matter which gender I am? Which age? The zip code in which I live? My income? By asking me these questions, you only want to know how to sell to me. Jeffrey Gitomer would be outraged at such a pathetic attempt, and yet that is the common practice of marketing today.

What if instead we asked questions in surveys to better know our customer and learn to meet their needs, instead of meeting our sales goals? What if survey questions actually asked questions that helped the surveyed to better know themselves?

Let's blow that out... what if we made the attempt to have every communication become conversation where we could explore the other person?

The limitation there? Time. And yet isn't time an investment into the lives of others that shows that we care about them?

From a blog post, a larger dialogue has emerged. It certainly has my wheels a-turnin'. Thanks to Susan and Mike for a great conversation.

 


by Brett Rogers, 1/1/2007 5:21:19 PM
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